I know that at my age I should probably worry about whether I finished my paper due for tomorrow or if I properly did the laundry but this year I have been affected by the death of a classmate. he died in winter, he was not even 18 years old. he as in my swimming class and former crush but it’s off subject. I was used to seeing him every day and even if we weren’t close at all I have been affected by his death, like the rest of my high school. since it’s a small Parisian highschool everyone knows everyone, even if we don’t talk to each other, we see each other every day and it’s like a routine.

when the school director announced it, we all felt a hole creating in our hearts and everyone was sad and teary (if not crying). especially his friends, I can’t even imagine how broke they felt.

knowing the fact that, you can disappear, and everyone around you, in a blink of an eye, is so eye-opening (no pun intended). you realize that everything is pretty much ephemera and that you should appreciate and cherish what surrounds you before it is gone.

by this I mean you should enjoy life at its fullest, do what you really want to do, talk, discover, explore everything and not wait for that kind of event to happen to open your eyes because you don’t want to experience this (even if EVERYONE will experience loss in their lives, that’s how things are).

I don’t know what living your life at its fullest means to you but as long as you don’t have any remorse, I think that’s the best you can do for yourself. better live with regrets than remorse.

so to me, it means, talking to this person, taking this certain opportunity, posting this certain article or this certain video or photo, etc, actually every time I see myself hesitating, I’ll just think, what if?

just imagine that everything that happened in your life is a dream, that you are actually just a goat asleep and tomorrow you wake up. what would you do, uh?

thank you for reading me and I hope this post isn’t too dark or anything and I’ll see you soon with some brighter posts I promise.


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